Dec 24, 2021

Scary Things I found at the Antique Store - Christmas Edition

 Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Scary Things I found at the Antique Store"!


Christmas is almost here, so let's dive right in!


My kids are always asking me to get an Elf on the Shelf. That is never gonna happen, but I did tell them I'd buy them this:



That's the kind of elf that crawls in through your ear and pours tar in your soul. Maybe with that sly little face watching them everywhere they go they will finally be inspired to stop fighting with each other.



The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So why does this choir look so terrified?



What's that? You say it's the nutcrackers? Ugh, you guys are such babies. 



Wait . . . what in the name of sunflowers is this?



Gah! Is it a CLOWN? I guess there is a reason that people are more of afraid of clowns than they are of terrorist. THAT is how you strike terror into people's hearts, right there.



Hey, look! It's a Jack-In-the Box!



Or . . . Package Girl?? Um, I don't . . .



How about some Santas? 



How would you like to run into him and the weird mound of hair he is carrying in a dark alley upon a Christmas Eve?



Or perhaps this guy:



"Me and my Taffy Eyebrows see you when you're sleeping."



Oh, this one's kind of cute:



Though apparently those trees are growing right out of his belly.




No wonder he looks so uncomfortable.




And this one's just mad. "Those dang reindeer keep eating all my cookies!"




I guess we'll just wrap things up with a family friendly vintage Christmas Card. 



I bet he said,  "Good Girls have noses." 



Let's open it up and see:


Wow, real classy Santa. As usual.



On that note, we bid you adieu? I don't know why I put a question mark there, but I'm leaving it. Merry Christmas!!

Nov 15, 2021

Geometric Black Wall Treatment in the Master Bedroom

 Here! See some pictures of my room! Quick before the clutter explodes all over the place again!



In case you can't tell, what you see in the above picture is a geometric black wall treatment in the Master Bedroom. We designed the room with this little recess for the bed to sit in specifically so we could have a cool wall treatment. 

Here is the wall before: 


Ah, Special.

I drew up several designs, and this was our favorite.


You can tell, because I drew a heart in the corner. 

Then I painted the wall black. I'm pretty sure this was black paint I bought to paint the shelves in our library, but ended up not liking it. I still wish this was more of a matte finish, but we all have our crosses to bear.


With the wall painted and a stack of 1.5" mdf trim, I was ready to go. Theoretically I should have been able to take measurements and cut the angle perfectly, but I have never had that happen in real life. Pretty much every angle I adjusted it with a hundred tiny cuts until I got it perfect, and then cut the straight edge to length. I got tired of running up and down the stairs after a while and just brought the miter saw into my bedroom. I figured all the dust would be worth it. I have no regrets.  

And then there are shelves full of books and Legos. All the things a married couple needs.



The art on the wall below came from HERE. Its a paint by number Mandy from Vintage Revivals had designed to paint on her daughters wall. I just painted it on a big ol' canvas instead. I kind of wish I had done the whole wall, but maybe there is enough going on in here with the black wall treatment behind the bed. 


So, there you have it. A black wall treatment in the master bedroom. Are you edified? Enlightened? Enriched? Enraged? I can't take responsibility for all your emotions, so get a handle on yourself.

Oct 7, 2021

The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need

 This is it! The last Smoothie Recipe you will ever need! Well, unless you want a chocolate smoothie, or an Orange Julius, yum, or maybe a PB&J smoothie, which is one of my favorites. So let me alter my title a little to say "The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need From Me". probably.

Here's a picture!

I always start with a frozen banana, a frozen plum (because we have a plum tree, so this is just what I have on hand) and a handful of baby spinach. Then I add two more fruits.  In the picture above I used a pear and a handful of mixed berries. Anything is good. Peaches, strawberries, raspberries (which have more fiber per cup than any other fruit), mango, pineapple, whatever. You don't need me to think of fruits for you. I tried Kiwi, and that was good too, but I always wonder, does Kiwi hurt everyone when they eat it, or am I mildly allergic?


Apples are good too, but I recommend only using half an apple, unless you really enjoy chewing your smoothies. I also find that it tastes best if at least one of the fruits is fresh. I often make it with everything frozen except the spinach because that's all I've got, but then I have to add more water to make it thin enough to drink, and the flavor just isn't as rich. Obviously.

I also add Chia Seeds and Flaxseed Meal because their packaging says that they are really good for you. And I sweeten it using Monk Fruit. If you know that Monk Fruit is going to kill me, will you let me know, cuz honestly, I don't even know what it is. Oh, and a scoop of protein powder. But don't add it until the very, very end, because if you blend it too long, it poofs everything up in a way that ceases to be delicious. And that's it. It varies depending on the fruit you use, of course, but it general, they are about 500 calories. Good for you, and stuffed with enough food to tide you over till dinner.  


5 servings of fruits/veggies a day = Check!


Bowels ready to empty themselves at a moments notice = Double Check!


ULTIMATE SMOOTHIE RECIPE 

  • 1 handful Baby Spinach
  • 1 frozen Banana
  • 1 froze Plum
  • 2 other fruits of your choice
  • 1 to 1 1/2 cup water
  • 1 Tbsp Chia Seeds
  • 1 Tbsp Flaxseed Meal
  • 2 Tbsp Monk Fruit
  • 1 scoop Protein Powder (don't add it until the end!)
Blend it, drink it, love it. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. Bye.

Oct 4, 2021

A Trip to the Uintah Basin


Thursday 

Our plan was to leave Thursday right after school, but because of surprise optomitrist appointments, and forgotten about Parent Teach Conferences, it was 6:00 pm before we left home. We'd hoped to eat in Vernal when we got there, but as it was we stopped at Carl's Jr. on our way out of town. Just like campers of old. At 9:00 pm we were almost to Vernal, but we were ready to stop for the night. Richard reached out with his inner camper's sense and turned off at some random road and found a place to pull over. We put the jacks under the camper and just like that we were ready to hit the hay.

Course the kids weren't ready to fall asleep just yet, so I read out loud to them a bit from "Dune" and they were out in minutes. 


FRIDAY 

The campsite Richard parked us in turned out to be kind of perfect. The boys explored the nearby hills while I cleaned up and Richard made pancakes.



I LOVE camping in a trailer. 5 minute take down is all it took to get us back on the road and headed for Vernal. First we stopped at the local Field Office to get tips on nearby BLM camping, and any other sites or activities we needed to see. The woman loaded my hands with maps, and our brains with tips and sent us on our way. We still weren't really clear where were going to camp, but Vernal is surrounded by BLM land, so we knew we'd be able to find a spot somewhere. 

This map shows what area is BLM land and what isn't. It would be awesome if it was an overlay you could get on Google Maps, but we were mostly able to figure out where we were. We headed for the yellow section of the map, and found a fantastic spot right along the Green River. It was clearly used for partiers and was kind of a mess, but we took a chance and set up camp anyway, figuring that if the entire population of high schoolers showed up that night we could always move somewhere else. I also gave my boys a few garbage bags and had them fill them up and it was looking much nicer in no time. 



And then the fun could begin!

About 45 minutes outside of Vernal, nestled in a field of oil derricks, is a little place called 

Fantasy Canyon. 

Words will not do it justice. Places like these are what pictures are for.






Amazing right? Have any movies been filmed here? I looked it up online, but there weren't any as far as I can tell. It is such a small and fragile place, it might not be possible, but it really looks like an alien landscape just crawled up out of the ground from another world. 

This helpful sign was on the outhouse door:


We did NOT see any pigmy rattlesnakes, but you better believe I never let my guard down.

Later that day we went to see the Indian Petroglyph's at McConckie Ranch. We learned about this place at the local field office so we decided to check it out.


We also decided to see what happens when you wink while frowning.






We hiked around and saw lots of cool stuff, but we were getting hungry and tired so we headed back to camp. However, when I was looking up McConckie Ranch online, I found TONS of really cool petroglyphs that we didn't see. So we're going to have to go back! That was pretty much the theme of the whole trip. There is too much to see and do in the Uintah Basin. 

We're going to have to go back. 

Richard made Patty Melts for dinner and we built a fire on the beach and roasted marshmallows and then put out the fire and looked at the stars. We never saw another living soul, so maybe the locals only party there during the summer months.

I read some more Dune to the kids to help them wind down, and they were snoring in minutes. I'm going to have to remember that. Dune is like a sleeping draft of magicalness.

Saturday

We started the morning (after eggs benedict, for reals, cuz my husband is truly wonderful) at the Utah Field House of Natural History State Park Museum. (I suspect that when they were sitting in the Naming of the Museum Committee meeting they just couldn't come to any kind of consensus, so they named it everything they could think of.) 

We learned a lot and took a lot of awkward photos! (Some more awkward than others)



Look at his bravery. He doesn't even care that the Utah Raptor is about to eat him!


Then it was time to head out to Dinosaur National Monument, in Jensen UT!




Another really cool place that will require a lot more exploring. But it was so hot, and dogs are not allowed on a lot of the hiking trails, so this is another place we'll have to come back to.

After lunch we headed for Red Fleet State Park. During the summer you can rent kayaks and paddle boards, which you can use to explore the lake and nearby Dinosaur Trackway. We had no such luck however, so we had to drive around the lake, and hike to the trackway. 


Or maybe dance.






Dinosaur Tracks! Right under our feet! They were everywhere! When we'd seen all of the dinosaur tracks we could bear to see, it was time to head back. 1.5 miles each way isn't that big of a deal, right? We just had to climb back up this insanely steep hill. 


I hadn't realized we'd gone downhill so much on our way in, but by the time we climbed the mile and a half back up to our car, my legs were on fire. We were hot and tired and thirsty and slurpees were in order. Fortunately, Vernal has five 7-Elevens. For a population  of 10,500. And I think we stopped at every single one. 

I suppose that is the message I want to leave with you today. Vernal is the heart of Dinosaur Country and the 7-Eleven Capital of the World! So what are you waiting for? Visit the Uintah Basin today!