Scary Things I found at the Antique Store - Christmas Edition

Dec 24, 2021

 Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Scary Things I found at the Antique Store"!

Christmas is almost here, so let's dive right in!

My kids are always asking me to get an Elf on the Shelf. That is never gonna happen, but I did tell them I'd buy them this:

That's the kind of elf that crawls in through your ear and pours tar in your soul. Maybe with that sly little face watching them everywhere they go they will finally be inspired to stop fighting with each other.

The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So why does this choir look so terrified?

What's that? You say it's the nutcrackers? Ugh, you guys are such babies. 

Wait . . . what in the name of sunflowers is this?

Gah! Is it a CLOWN? I guess there is a reason that people are more of afraid of clowns than they are of terrorist. THAT is how you strike terror into people's hearts, right there.

Hey, look! It's a Jack-In-the Box!

Or . . . Package Girl?? Um, I don't . . .

How about some Santas? 

How would you like to run into him and the weird mound of hair he is carrying in a dark alley upon a Christmas Eve?

Or perhaps this guy:

"Me and my Taffy Eyebrows see you when you're sleeping."

Oh, this one's kind of cute:

Though apparently those trees are growing right out of his belly.

No wonder he looks so uncomfortable.

And this one's just mad. "Those dang reindeer keep eating all my cookies!"

I guess we'll just wrap things up with a family friendly vintage Christmas Card. 

I bet he said,  "Good Girls have noses." 

Let's open it up and see:

Wow, real classy Santa. As usual.

On that note, we bid you adieu? I don't know why I put a question mark there, but I'm leaving it. Merry Christmas!!