Lessons Learned from our very first cruise.
Aug 25, 2023
We went on a cruise last year, and we learned some valuable lessons that I believe must be shared. You're welcome.
1. Plan in time for Flight Delays.
About 4 hours before we were planning to leave for the airport, we received a notice that our connecting flight had been canceled. Period. No rescheduling, no delays, just canceled. Which meant we could fly to New York, but then we'd be stuck there. My only option was to call customer service. And wait on hold for two hours. So I did. And the lady I eventually talked to was nice and helpful and tried very hard to find another flight for us, but because we had to be in Miami by 2:00 pm, we had a very narrow window to fit the flight in and the only viable flight was full. Sorry for the inconvenience. Wish we could help.
Ultimately, we decided to drive up to the airport as planned and hope that someone there could help us. And if not, we could fly to New York and spend the weekend there. Surely there were worst places to spend a weekend.
But, we found someone smart and capable at the check in counter, and that flight that had been full 4 hours before suddenly had two open seats and she put our names down. We had a flight all the way to Miami.
Still, it spooked me. All the way up until we actually got on the boat, I was sure something would go wrong. That they would have given our tickets to someone else, or that we'd suddenly test positive for Covid, out of the blue, or that our passports would be invalid.
We wanted to take a red eye flight so that we wouldn't have to pay for a hotel in Miami the night before our cruise, but we didn't account for the crap fest that is the airline industry right now. Stuff happens. Weather happens. Things go wrong. We should have allowed some extra time to account for it.
It was pouring rain in Miami. Thus the canceled Flight. That isn't a water feature on the wall behind us. That is rain pouring down the glass of the covered walkway leading onto the boat.
Myth #1: You can buy anything you need on the cruise ship.
FALSE! Yes, there are stores on board the cruise ship. But unless you are in the market for watches or designer hand bags, you probably won't find what you need. For reals. There were two of THE SAME jewelry store, but not one convenience store. Perfume, yes. Expensive sandals, sure. Advil? No, ma'am. Tweezers? Not if your life depended on it.
#5: Bring your own snacks. (I almost wrote snakes there. That might be a good tip too, but you'll have a hard time getting them on board, until you get real creative with your hiding places.)
Say one night you get a sudden craving. M&M's! Any kind will do! Actually, any candy bar at all will work. But this is the same problem as the one above. You can't get snacks anywhere on board. Unless you want Rum Cakes, you are shuck out of luck. I suggest you plan accordingly. Seriously. I just wanted a candy bar. Why does the souvenir shop ONLY sell rum cakes?? Why?
I might be different on other ships, but on Royal Caribbean that was not the case. My dad always says that his main complaint on his cruise was that they fed him too much. So I was just expected food being pushed at me from every side, all day long. But no. There was a buffet upstairs that was open with extended hours around meal times. But the food was really only so so. Standard cheap buffet food. The food in the formal dining room was fantastic, but the servings were rather small like you would expect in a super fancy restaurant and it was open with much more limited hours, and if you didn't make a reservation you might have to wait for a table for a while.
There were several other restuarants, but half of them were not included with your cruise meal plan, which means you had to pay to eat there, just like you would in any restaurant. It was also rather hard to tell which restaurants were free, and which weren't, so we ususally just stuck to the ones we were sure about. And they were all only open around meal times. You could order room service too, but most of that food also cost extra. Fortunately there was a Ben and Jerrys on board. Yes, their food was not included with the cruise meal package, but the cruise had also kindly given us $100 credit to be spent on whatever we wanted onboard the boat. Richard used a bunch of it on Lobster one night (again, not something that was included in the free meals), but we had to spend the rest on something. Good thing I like Icecream so much.
B) - Take Cash. Or, maybe, don't.
I meant to take cash, I really did. But what with the flight kerfuffle, we never stopped at the bank to get any. Which left us in Nassau Bahamas without any cash. It was the weekend, so there were no open banks, and I didn't even have a debit card to pull cash out of an ATM. Which meant no souvenirs, which was kind of sad, but also gave me an excellent excuse not to buy anything from any of the vendors that were pushing their wares at us.
After hanging out on the beach for a while I would have liked to rent some four wheelers to explore the island, but it started pouring rain, which might have made four wheeling somewhat less exciting.
And it was awesome! And we didn't spend an arm and a leg! So who's laughing now?
Well, there you have it. Every single lesson we learned while cruising, that I can think of at the moment.
We tried escargot, which was, you know, snails.
And didn't really mind being in an interior room, because no windows meant it was DARK, and morning sort of lost meaning. It was very restful.
All in all, we had a great time! I may have seen more half-naked women than anyone ever needs to see, but it just makes me all the more excited for our next cruise. To Alaska! Someday!
This is the end.
Cover Reveal
Jul 11, 2023
The Splinter Press team agonized and debated for a very long time, but the cover for The Dissection and Reassembly of Cohen Hoard has finally been chosen!
And there was much rejoicing.
I Am An Author
Jun 10, 2023
Folks, it is official. My debut novel, The Dissection & Reassembly of Cohen Hoard, will be released on September 15th, 2023.
If you like specuative fiction about nerdy guys going on adventures involving dissembodied limbs, this is the book for you!
Phone Blogging
Aug 31, 2022
Scary Things I found at the Antique Store - Christmas Edition
Dec 24, 2021
Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Scary Things I found at the Antique Store"!
Christmas is almost here, so let's dive right in!
My kids are always asking me to get an Elf on the Shelf. That is never gonna happen, but I did tell them I'd buy them this:
That's the kind of elf that crawls in through your ear and pours tar in your soul. Maybe with that sly little face watching them everywhere they go they will finally be inspired to stop fighting with each other.
The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So why does this choir look so terrified?
What's that? You say it's the nutcrackers? Ugh, you guys are such babies.
Wait . . . what in the name of sunflowers is this?
Gah! Is it a CLOWN? I guess there is a reason that people are more of afraid of clowns than they are of terrorist. THAT is how you strike terror into people's hearts, right there.
Hey, look! It's a Jack-In-the Box!
Or . . . Package Girl?? Um, I don't . . .
How about some Santas?
How would you like to run into him and the weird mound of hair he is carrying in a dark alley upon a Christmas Eve?
Or perhaps this guy:
"Me and my Taffy Eyebrows see you when you're sleeping."
Oh, this one's kind of cute:
Though apparently those trees are growing right out of his belly.
No wonder he looks so uncomfortable.
And this one's just mad. "Those dang reindeer keep eating all my cookies!"
I guess we'll just wrap things up with a family friendly vintage Christmas Card.
Wow, real classy Santa. As usual.
On that note, we bid you adieu? I don't know why I put a question mark there, but I'm leaving it. Merry Christmas!!
Geometric Black Wall Treatment in the Master Bedroom
Nov 15, 2021
Here! See some pictures of my room! Quick before the clutter explodes all over the place again!
The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need
Oct 7, 2021
This is it! The last Smoothie Recipe you will ever need! Well, unless you want a chocolate smoothie, or an Orange Julius, yum, or maybe a PB&J smoothie, which is one of my favorites. So let me alter my title a little to say "The Last Smoothie Recipe You Will Ever Need From Me". probably.
Here's a picture!
I always start with a frozen banana, a frozen plum (because we have a plum tree, so this is just what I have on hand) and a handful of baby spinach. Then I add two more fruits. In the picture above I used a pear and a handful of mixed berries. Anything is good. Peaches, strawberries, raspberries (which have more fiber per cup than any other fruit), mango, pineapple, whatever. You don't need me to think of fruits for you. I tried Kiwi, and that was good too, but I always wonder, does Kiwi hurt everyone when they eat it, or am I mildly allergic?
Apples are good too, but I recommend only using half an apple, unless you really enjoy chewing your smoothies. I also find that it tastes best if at least one of the fruits is fresh. I often make it with everything frozen except the spinach because that's all I've got, but then I have to add more water to make it thin enough to drink, and the flavor just isn't as rich. Obviously.
I also add Chia Seeds and Flaxseed Meal because their packaging says that they are really good for you. And I sweeten it using Monk Fruit. If you know that Monk Fruit is going to kill me, will you let me know, cuz honestly, I don't even know what it is. Oh, and a scoop of protein powder. But don't add it until the very, very end, because if you blend it too long, it poofs everything up in a way that ceases to be delicious. And that's it. It varies depending on the fruit you use, of course, but it general, they are about 500 calories. Good for you, and stuffed with enough food to tide you over till dinner.
5 servings of fruits/veggies a day = Check!
Bowels ready to empty themselves at a moments notice = Double Check!
ULTIMATE SMOOTHIE RECIPE
- 1 handful Baby Spinach
- 1 frozen Banana
- 1 froze Plum
- 2 other fruits of your choice
- 1 to 1 1/2 cup water
- 1 Tbsp Chia Seeds
- 1 Tbsp Flaxseed Meal
- 2 Tbsp Monk Fruit
- 1 scoop Protein Powder (don't add it until the end!)
A Trip to the Uintah Basin
Oct 4, 2021
Thursday
FRIDAY
Fantasy Canyon.
We're going to have to go back.
Saturday
