And while we are on the subject...

July 30, 2010

I find that you really can't talk too much about throwing up.  It simply doesn't seem to be possible.

Richard got sick last weekend.  Usually I am the one who is sick while he points and laughs at my misery.    He probably gets sick 1 out of every 10 times that I get sick.  So last weekend I guess it was finally his turn again. And while it put a damper on the weekend, it brought up lots of fun memories of sicknesses gone by.

When we first moved in to this house we went to Home Depot like we did all the time in those days.  I started feeling oogy, so I made Richard push me around in the shopping cart.  I think he suspected that I was just lazy, so I was really glad when we got home and I ran strait into the house and puked up pizza all over the shower.  That showed him.

Once when I was young my sister Demi got sick.  So she was hanging out in front of the toilet like you do, waiting for the sweet release of up-chucking.  It was late and she was exhausted and all the sudden she ran into the kitchen saying that her hands wouldn't work.  They were in these weird positions and seemed all frozen and she was freaking out and I was FREAKED OUT!   I thought she was dying, cuz what else do frozen hands mean if not certain death?  Turns out she had just fallen alseep on her hands and they were totally numb, but otherwise fine.

And then there was a time on my mission when a lady in the ward told me that taking Mulitvitamins on an empty stomach made her sick.  I thought that was rather silly.  But when I took one a couple days later on an empty stomach I started feeling sick too.  I think she hexed me.  I knew the thing to do was to eat something, so I grabbed the first thing I could find - leftover fish pasta - and ate it as fast as I could.  About 5 minutes later I hurled in the shower.   (By the way, puking in the shower is way better than puking in the toilet.  Though if I have my druthers  I prefer vomiting into a pitcher from the comforts of my bed.)


Anyhoo, as I listened to Richard hurling into the toilet I realized how generous and forgiving he is for still loving me after hearing me barf all those times.  Cuz now, for me, it is over.  How can I kiss someone after hearing them throw up like that?  I know there are some silent pukers out there, but I'm sure not one of them, and now I know my husband isn't either.    So that is it for us.  We had a good run.  But I was also interested to realize that, while the love is gone, listening to him didn't make ME want to throw up.  It always does in the movies, and I have always wondered if it would work that way for me, but it didn't.  So now I know, next time I am stuck in a room full of barfing barfers, I will be the one with my head held high, holding it together while everyone around me falls apart all over the upholstery.  Man, that is going to be awesome!  I can't wait!

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16 comments

  1. I wish I could be a silent puker. Can that be learned?

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  2. My hubs is the big puker over here. NOT silent. I have a cast-iron stomach and RARELY puke. I just hug the toilet wishing I could vomit so I'd start to feel better. I guess that makes me a silent, if unsuccessful, puker.

    And I know it's morally wrong but I've got to ask- is Demi blonde?

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  3. My boyfriend's roommate once asked, "Who was in there yelling at the toilet last night!?" after he heard me puking. And that's basically what I do when I throw up. I yell at the toilet. Because it's really the toilet's fault I drank those last 2 shots of goldschlager (sp?).

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  4. I remember once in grade school my mom couldn't be reached so her best friend had to come pick me up from school when I felt sick. When my mom finally got me home she yelled at me because she thought I was faking just to get out of school. And then I ran past her and hurled in the toilet several times. AH, SWEET JUSTICE. It still feels good.

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  5. I have a trigger happy puke reflex< just while reading your post band think of Rich puking made me dry heave. Blah!

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  6. I think that loud puking is an inherited gene that I have received from the Hagberg side of the family. Luckily, like my uncle, it's only heard on rare and special occasions.

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  7. Troy is a MAJOR sympathy puker. Anyone even slightly gags and he's dry heaving. Poor fella.

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  8. My son seems to puke once a month for one reason or another. You're right, you can never blog about it enough. This post was pretty funny. Hope your husband is over his puke fest.

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  9. Best post ever.

    But can you talk about poop too much? Because I have a lot of funny poop stories, but never feel like they would be appropriate. So my blog remains poopless. Think of all the great stuff you're missing out on.

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  10. *I would like to clarify that I'm referring to my children's poop, not my own. I'm pretty sure the latter is definitely not blog-appropriate.

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  11. Yes, silent puking can be learned. But it is no where near as gratifying.

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  12. Dude, I was EATING!
    And I am totally a sympathetic puker...now I'm feeling a little oogy.

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  13. Demi - I'm interested in this "it can be learned" thing. Does that mean you have to practice?

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  14. yeah, I don't think you can talk too much about poop either. bodily functions and fluids are just always a classy choice for subject matter.

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  15. It is the smell of others puking that makes you puke as well, not the sound, so maybe your head won't be held so high if you were in a room full of pukers. I am not a puker myself, last time I threw up was when I was 25 (for those of you who don't keep track that is 7 years ago) and it was from being pregnant. The time before that I was 19 and had eaten shrimp for dinner, which is not what you want to throw up, I haven't eaten shrimp since, I'm not too upset, I didn't like it to begin with. Hope Rich feels better soon.

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  16. Cynthia, No I am not a blond, well maybe I was then, but is that an excuse? You obviously have never fallen asleep at the puke hole! I should actually deny this story since I don't really remember it.

    Misty, Yes, you have to practice. I tried it before after a trip where a few people got sick. Some were loud, some were silent, and I was curious. I am not converted to it though.

    My husband thinks poop stories are funny, but when I tell him that if we ever have a baby he has to be on poop patrol, as payback he says, "that's gross"

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