Recently we visited with some of Richard's family in Nevada and his aunt told me she has been reading my blog. I was touched. Then she said "You are a very interesting person." Which I am not at all sure was a compliment. But really, can I blame her? Based on what I have written, what else could she think?
So I just changed Harrison's diaper. It was stinky and poopy and more than a little gross, so I changed him and then took the diaper straight out to the garbage can and then wandered off to find my calculator and started thinking about my vegetable garden again. I was sitting at my desk trying my darndest to figure out what equation I would use to figure out how many square feet of soil I need and I could hear Harrison in the other room yelling "Mom! Mom! Mom!" And I didn't pay much attention cuz he yells all the time and he can come and get me if he needs me. So I was still working on my math problem, looking online to see if someone out there knew the answer to my question and all the while he was yelling away "Mom! Mom! Mom!" but I paid him no mind. I was focused on the problem at hand. And it didn't sound urgent. It is the same way he yells at me when he wants chocolate milk. But after about 5 minutes, since he never stopped yelling, I finally thought maybe he had got himself stuck somehow and might actually need something, so I went back into the living room to find him lying on the floor with his pants around his ankles, bum as bare as can be. I said something like "What the?" I then asked where his diaper was and if he took it off. He didn't answer. I said "Did I forget to put your diaper on" and he said "Yes!" and I vaguely remember setting an unused diaper on the table and wondering absentmindedly why I had taken two diapers with me to change him. Turns out I just forgot to put it on.
I decided not to make a "Why it is so darn swell to be 32" list this year, since it really ain't that differnt from being 31. Besides, half of the year I thought that I WAS 32, so I don't feel any older at all. But I am wiser. (wisened?) There is no doubt about that. And I would be honored if you, gentle reader, would let me share just a few of the things I have learned this year with you. Ready..... GO!
1. How to keep my house clean. It is about dang time. But I am still mad about having to clean it EVERY day. Every day! I ask you! Where in the fine print of my marriage license was THAT laid out?
5. Sugar gives me gas. Which actually really explains a lot.
6. Don't mess with Richard when he is cooking. He made a refridgerator sized box full of fudge for Christmas. I tried sweetly suggesting to him that maybe he made just a little too much, and he was like "Rrrrraaaaaar!!"
7. Kids don't listen. For good reason I had to say to Harrison (AGAIN) "Don't eat your boogers, please." And he said "Yes, eat boogers! Chomp!!" I don't know how to spell the chomping sound he made. But I laughed so much that I know he is never going to take me sereiously. And I really need the booger eating to stop!
10. Guilt trips don't work on 3 year-olds. When Harrison shoots me--which happens a lot-- and I have to fall down dead, I always try to make him feel bad for killing his poor MOTHER, who loves him and takes care of him and always makes him hot cocoa. But he just laughs and shoots me again.
11. If the person you are trying to kill won't just shut up and die, you can always shoot them again.
12. No matter where you go, in cities large and small nationwide, little old ladies still hang around the house in their muu muus and house coats. Because this is America!
The last weekend in March we went out to Nevada to see Richard's grandmother. Richard's parents were there as well, along with an aunt and some cousins who live next door.
After a while Connor wanted to teach Harrison how to drive. Harrison couldn't figure out that he had to hold the gas pedal down so it just lurched forward it short little spurts. And over everything I could hear Connor shouting "Steer! Steer! You have to steer!" Watching a 4 year old teach a 3 year old how to drive was so funny I almost fell down.