I have to wonder about myself sometimes

I saw some black birds today. What is the difference between a blackbird and a crow? I want to say crows are bigger, but I don’t know. Are there even such things as black birds? Maybe Blackbird is just a general term referring to all birds that are black in color. Whatever it is, I saw some. In the Walmart parking lot. They just kept crossing my path. (Are black birds unlucky too, or is it just black cats? I know it is bad luck when a black cat crosses your path, but what is the radius for the bad luck? Does the cat have to be within sight, or does he just have to be within, say, spitting distance?)

And then I noticed one of the birds was fiddling with something. And this is, quite seriously, just about how my thought process went:

Oh look at that industrious little bird, trying to get some food out of that wrapper he found. Hmm. He seems to be having a hard time getting to it. I wish I could help him, but I know as soon as I get close to him he will fly away. How can I get him to trust me? I want to help that bird! Oh… wait…. Now I see what he is trying to eat. It’s one of those prepackaged rice crispy treats. Those are loaded with sugar! He doesn’t need all that sugar. It’s probably just as well he can’t get it out. Forget it little birdie! I’m not helping you eat that junk! You’re on your own! You’ll thank me later!

Ok, I embellished a little there at the end. I’m not totally crazy. But I keep thinking of that popular little saying… how does it go? “A moment on the lips, forever on your big, feathery backside.” Anyway, it’s something like that. Or at least it should be. That’s catchy. Maybe I’ll have some T-shirts made up!