Another List

So tonight was the combined activity. Lynsie gave us the idea to play sock tag, so we told everyone to bring socks and we were in business. The game is this: everyone puts a sock in their back pocket and then you run around trying to steals socks from other people without getting your own stolen. It wasn't sure I should play; I'm not entirely comfortable grabbing at people's hind quarters, or having them grab at mine. But I like to be an example of participation, so I stuck a borrowed bobby sock in my pocket and away we went. The kids seemed to have a great time for the most part - as much as 12 year old boys and girls can when they are together. And so did I. (For some reason the grammar checker is telling me at this point that the correct grammar would be "So did me.") But in the last game I was running from a young man who was going for my sock and since I was still wearing socks, I slipped and hit the ground hard and he took my sock and ran. Hello! Check and see if I am all right at least! I was fine, of course, and I don't like to be fawned over, but maybe you could be a bit of a gentleman? Kids!! Anyway, blah blah blah, what it comes down to is, if I am going to be falling down a lot, maybe I should stay on the sidelines during games like these. I am not as young as I once was - as I've said - and if there is one thing the Young Women do not need to see it is me breaking my hip.

Other things the Young Women don't need to see me do:
  • Dance. And by this I mean the way I might dance in a night club. (If I went to night clubs. Which I don't. But you know what I mean: lots of prancing, arm swinging and flamboyant hip movements.)
  • Ride a Unicycle. This goes back to me breaking my hip again.
  • Strut my stuff in a swimming suit. I think this goes without saying.
  • Cry. I have a tendency to bawl, which includes lots of snot, tears, gulping, and a red face.
  • Run. Which includes lots of snot, tears, gulping, and a red face.
  • Be Dismembered. The reasons for this might not be quite as obvious as some of the others, but trust me; it is not a good idea.
  • Throw Up. I'm not really sure anymore why the Young Women are the only ones who shouldn't see this stuff.
  • Talk to an Automated Phone System. Automated phone systems are the most evil force in the universe. I cannot be on the phone with one for more than 30 seconds before I start yelling.
I'm really sure what the point of all this is, but here is another list anyway!