Bracing Insight from the Diary of A Normal Girl

May 20, 2016

All my life I was taught and encouraged to keep a journal.  I took that counsel to heart knowing that one day, if it didn't inspire a nation, my diary would at least inspire my daughter or granddaughter as she worked her way through struggles just like my own.

In spite of the problems with this: including the fact that I don't have a daughter and even if I manage to have a granddaughter someday, she will be too busy colonizing another galaxy or fighting off the sentient robots to read my journals, there is one more major problem:  These journals are filled with completely useless, ridiculous nonsense.  I've read it.  It is mind numbing.  It is boring and tedious.  Someone should have slapped me upside the head.  Who would ever want to read that drivel??


Because I spent years of my life filling those journals with my deepest, most heartfelt and secret emotions and I am not going to let it go to waste.  Lets take a look at one of my earliest journal entries, shall we?  (Some punctuation and spelling mistakes have been corrected to aid with comprehension.)

April 17, 1988

I'm 10 now. I turned 10 sixteen days ago. Through March we had roadshow rehersal on the 30 and 31 of March. Last Tuesday we bought a new Toyota Corrola from my grandparents.  It's really nice.  I found out how to make the back seat go forward and make it stay down.  Faralee and G.B. know too, but know one else! Dance show was on April 8, 1988, and it was a good one.  I left my ballet shoes there, but I have them back now. We got the Gremlin lisensd and we got it inspectid. It's noisy, the Corrolla is very quiet. We named all our cars.

The Subberbans name is "Godzilla".
The Nova's name is "Little Red Riding Hood".
The Corrola's name is "The Limo".
The Gremlins name is "Gismo".

 There you have it.  This is only my 3rd  journal entry ever (the 2nd is one line long and reads: "I'm in thired grade now and I'm eight and 2/1.) and what I thought was worth sharing was not anything about my family or the town I lived in, but the names of our cars. You're welcome, posterity!  May this information change your lives for the better! (FYI: Faralee and G.B.--more accurately known as Gaea--are two of my younger sisters.)

Besides that, this is actually a pretty newsy entry for me.  Just wait until I hit middle school.  You're going to want to gouge your eyes out. Stay tuned!