A Cricket, A Cracket

Jun 16, 2012

There is a Cricket in my house.  I know this for two reasons: 1) I can hear it happily chirping away in the kitchen, oblivious to the fact that it is daytime, and 2) He almost fell on my head when I walked into the bathroom last night.  What he was doing on the ceiling is unknown, though I suspect Dancing.

They say that crickets are "good luck".  I hope that "luck" kicks in before the chirping drives me mad.  What is it doing anyway?  Trying to pick up on a lady?  Talking to itself?  Is he snoring, or is it completely subconscious and he doesn't even know he is doing it?  Cuz seriously, wouldn't he get tired of it? Or is he crying for help?  Trying desperately to send a message to his crickets in arms beyond enemy lines? Give it up little Cricket!  No one is coming for you!

Speaking of Crickets, did I ever tell you about this one time, in 3rd or 4th grade when there was a cricket outside our classroom at school?  Chirping away with no regard to our reading time, OR to the fact that it was stationed across the hall from the library.  Crickets really are the most inconsiderate of all the insects.  He chirped so loud and long that my teacher finally lead us out into the hall to investigate.  Outside the class room were hung all our backpacks and coats and it was obvious that the chirping was coming from there.

From there it was like finding a needle in a haystack.  If the needle made noise and there were only about  15 pieces of straw in the stack.   I guess there is a reason that the saying doesn't go "It was like finding a cricket in a row of backpacks".

So it didn't take her too long to track that little bug down.  And where do you think it was?  Yep. In MY BACKPACK!

I was mortified.  Seriously, I was so embarrassed.  I don't remember how I reacted.  Probably laughed.  "Ha ha.  Oh, boy.  In my backpack.  That is so funny.  How in the world did a cricket get in my backpack?  Ha ha."  When in reality I was dying in side.  How would I ever live that down?  Till the day I died I would be the girl with the cricket in her backpack.  It was AWFUL.

And I was right.  People still call me Cricket and make chirping sounds when I pass.  Some guys gave me a giant cricket shaped backpack when I graduated from high school. (And whenever I wear it, everybody looks at me with terror in their eyes and says "You have something on your back!")  And every single year on Halloween I am peer pressured into wearing my cricket helmet all day long.

And now that cricket sits in the kitchen, mocking me with his chirpy little song.  Will I ever be free from this nightmare?