To Whom it May Concern, 
     I write to apply for the position of Rat House Coodinator, and feel that I will be perfect for the job.  I grew up with many rats and many houses, and I think coodinating the two will be "No Prob."  My skills include jumping over tall buildings in a single bound, jumping to conclusions, and jumping through hoops.  I am also good at ignoring distractions and. . . hold on a second. . .sorry, I can't really rememeber where I was going with that.  But anyway, I'm great.  That's the point here.  Some say fantastic.  Fan-freakin-TASTIC.  If you hire me you will also quickly find that I cook the best cookies in the tri-state area.  What does cookie making having to do with assistant attorney general? You're the attorney, you figure it out.
     So, in conclusion, clearly you can see that if you hire me all your dreams will come true.
  
Regard,   
       Willard