I Think Twinkies are Delicious

December 14, 2010

Seriously. I'm eating one right now. And it is goood. Thank you twinkie, for your gift of cream.

oh, poo. Everytime I set it down to type it leaves twinkie droppings on my desk. I'm gonna have to lick those off.


Is cleanliness really next to Godliness?  Or is that just one of those things people say, like "All's fair in love and war" or "I don't have time to watch T.V."

If, hypothetically speaking, I haven't done my dishes all week, am I really more evil?



Whatever. Let's move on.  I'm bored of writing about that.  We went to our ward Christmas party tonight.  And the food was good.  Which was a nice change.  Not to complain.  I am not complaining.  A free dinner, not cooked by me, is always worth it, no matter what.  But tonight we had some sort of beef brisket, which was pretty awesome.  The POINT is, we also had baked potatoes.  Which is just fine.  Baked potatoes are like the plain white shirt of the vegetable world.  SO BORING, until you accessorize and then they are great to have around.  I dated a guy in college who was that way too.

What I am trying to say is that I realized that baked potatoes are one of those foods I would rather eat in private.  I put a nice slice of butter on and mixed its melty goodness into the hot recesses of my potato, but it wasn't enough and I wanted more.  Only problem was, we were sitting right next to the line of people still waiting to get their food and I could feel all their eyes on me.  Watching me.  Watching my potato.  All ready to be shocked at my exorbitant butter use.  I could almost hear the talk on Sunday: "She seems so nice.  But did you see how much butter she used on her potato?  What kind of a woman uses that much butter?  I won't be calling HER to babysit again!"

So I didn't do it.  I had a healthy, low-fat baked potato for dinner, and my intense love of butter is still my closely guarded secret.  And those gossiping High Priests have nothing to gab about.  But the joke is on them because what they don't know is that I snuck a 2nd brownie for dessert.  Ha!

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8 comments

  1. 1557 Jefferson Street #A (yeah, NUMBER A. Whatever)
    Laramie, Wyoming 82070

    Looking forward to your card!

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  2. Harmons has the most delicious potatoes ever. They are as big as my head, and they have a pretty good potato bar selection. I get their potatoes at least once a week. Nom, nom, nom.

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  3. Those red and coconut zingers are even better than twinkies, because they have twinkies inside!

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  4. Your love of butter is one of the things I read and then think "me and her should *so* be BFF's". My husband calls my mashed potatos 'Buttertoes'. I promise to keep your secret as long as you promise to keep writing things like this. I loved every messy, fatty, word.

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  5. Ohh, I love Ward Dinners! But we are having a ward breakfast instead AND I signed up to bring a Breakfast Casserole. I didn't even know what that was. Soggy bread with eggs and cheese is not my ideas of a delicious breakfast so we will see...

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  6. Ha! You got them. I have an embarrassing relationship with butter too. At home. So much so, I actually can't have it in the house. I can only use smart balance now, and that keeps my unreasonable butter-eating tendencies in check. Kinda.

    All this reminds me of one of my first graders the other day. The lunch choices were Frito Pie and Baked Potato. (If you're not from texas and you don't know what a frito pie is, it's chili and cheese on top of fritos.) Yes, I know, why on earth is there a childhood obesity problem in america? Anyway, she says to me, "Miss Fabuleslie, I choose a potato. Because then? I can get BUTTER." :) I know, honey. I know.

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  7. Pretty sure our ward had a Christmas breakfast, instead of a dinner. It definitely threw me off.

    Oh, and potatoes drenched in ranch dressing is how I roll. Actually, anything drenched in ranch dressing is fine by me. Okay, not really. But seriously.

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  8. I have two things to say... I know the conversation is over, but I am not one to let the conversation die, when i haven't said what i wanted to say... anyway...
    1. oh crap what was I going to say. Oh yes i remember now, nope forgot again, now I remember for real. 1. baked potatoes are like vanilla ice cream; very boring by themselves, but boy do they get around.
    2. I was at IHOP the other night with this girl I didn't know, don't ask me why, she was soooo into butter that she asked for extra so she could slather her hashbrowns with it, but then they weren't warm enough to melt the butter, so she had to ask the waitress to stick it in the microwave for her. Maybe I am not a butter person, but have you ever added butter to your hashbrowns? I wonder if she butters her french fries too....

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