It's Hard to Cook When You Are An Idiot.

Jul 6, 2009

I still do it though. And am STILL continually amazed at the boundlessness of my incompetence.

So, here is the latest thing I tried to make: Star-Studded Mini Pies! Click HERE to see the recipe on

Aren't they cute? And so incredibly easy. Refrigerated pie crust and canned pie filling. What could be easier? I didn't end up making them yesterday, though, because it just seemed like so much work at the time.

So I made them today instead. And things were going just great until I got to this very simple and basic step: "Gently roll the edge down with your fingers and then crimp it so it looks pretty." Sounds easy, but it seemed to be completely beyond me. I TRIED to roll the edges. but this is about the best I could do.

And my crimping looked more like I had sort of mushed it with my toes, or maybe beat at it with my elbows (which I did try, but it didn't help.) Look how pretty hers looks!

Yeah, that wasn't happening for me, so I gave up. Some can and some can't and there it is.

So then I got to the part that said to "dredge in sugar" I wasn't really sure what "dredge" meant in this context, but I figured it implied something like "increase mass by 100%" so, using sugar, that is what I did.

Mmmm. Is it even possible to use too much sugar? And, no, I didn't do a star. Because I didn't have one and since the 4th was yesterday I decided I was too late to be patriotic anyway, so I just did little circles. Not nearly as cute, but they served my purpose.

So, here is the finished product:

Looks like a jar of preserves sneezed all over my pancakes. Or like a battlefield from the Jelly Wars. Not quite as pretty as they should be. But that didn't stop us from eating them. Ha. Not in the least. The following picture was taken approximately 2.3 seconds after I took them out of the oven.

So, it is true! Looks aren't everything! You can be totally deformed and weird looking as long as you still taste good!