It's Hard to Cook When You Are An Idiot.

July 06, 2009

I still do it though. And am STILL continually amazed at the boundlessness of my incompetence.

So, here is the latest thing I tried to make: Star-Studded Mini Pies! Click HERE to see the recipe on

Aren't they cute? And so incredibly easy. Refrigerated pie crust and canned pie filling. What could be easier? I didn't end up making them yesterday, though, because it just seemed like so much work at the time.

So I made them today instead. And things were going just great until I got to this very simple and basic step: "Gently roll the edge down with your fingers and then crimp it so it looks pretty." Sounds easy, but it seemed to be completely beyond me. I TRIED to roll the edges. but this is about the best I could do.

And my crimping looked more like I had sort of mushed it with my toes, or maybe beat at it with my elbows (which I did try, but it didn't help.) Look how pretty hers looks!

Yeah, that wasn't happening for me, so I gave up. Some can and some can't and there it is.

So then I got to the part that said to "dredge in sugar" I wasn't really sure what "dredge" meant in this context, but I figured it implied something like "increase mass by 100%" so, using sugar, that is what I did.

Mmmm. Is it even possible to use too much sugar? And, no, I didn't do a star. Because I didn't have one and since the 4th was yesterday I decided I was too late to be patriotic anyway, so I just did little circles. Not nearly as cute, but they served my purpose.

So, here is the finished product:

Looks like a jar of preserves sneezed all over my pancakes. Or like a battlefield from the Jelly Wars. Not quite as pretty as they should be. But that didn't stop us from eating them. Ha. Not in the least. The following picture was taken approximately 2.3 seconds after I took them out of the oven.

So, it is true! Looks aren't everything! You can be totally deformed and weird looking as long as you still taste good!

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  1. Hey, they still look delicious!

  2. i love reading your stories! my kids ask me why i'm giggling . . . i say - you gave it a shot and they still tasted good - so you won! way to go - want to come cook my dinner tonight? i'm refusing to cook lately with the 90 degree weather (IN the kitchen) :)

  3. Interesting as they look, I still would have eaten those bad boys.

    I like your definition of dredged. Ha!

  4. I also had a wonderful dessert to make for 4th of July. It was star cut pound cake, which you drizzle white frosting, then put blueberries and sliced strawberries on top. so pretty in the picture.
    But Nina and Geneva ate all 3 baskets of strawberries, and I already didn't have blueberries. So I dyed the frosting red and blue and dreadged that over the pound cake stars. It wasn't very pretty, but it sure got eaten fast!

  5. Where on earth did you get a muffin pan that big?

  6. "So, it is true! Looks aren't everything! You can be totally deformed and weird looking as long as you still taste good!"

    SO TRUE!! That is the same logic Fae uses when people ask her why she married me!!

  7. Why am I always posting after Lance? That's just not fair, because I can't be as clever and funny as he is.

    Anyway, I laughed all the way through this post. Thanks for brightening my day. (I do have a wonderful pie crust recipe that never fails and might have done what you wanted it to do without so much woobling.)

  8. I can't stop laughing! You are a good cook, but that is pretty funny.

  9. I don't know why, but that actually made me laugh aloud--a lot! I was so surprised by the end result picture! Hahahha! Oh boy. Loved it.
    I bet they were delicious. :)

  10. You know what they say, "A picture is worth a thousand laughs," or something like that. Makes me think of washing your dishes.