Discovered: The Root of All my Social Problems!

September 15, 2008

I consider myself pretty socially awkward. There are just so many social situations that I feel so clueless in. I try. And I think I am getting better (Cuz I’m 30!) but sometimes I just feel like awkwardness personified.

Maybe this is because I think about things too much. Not that it helps. Stuff always seems to come out wrong anyway. It is dangerous business opening your mouth.

For example: We are on waving terms with our neighbors. Sometimes a “Hi!” or a “Nice Weather!” or something like that is exchanged. This suits me fine. I assume it suits them fine too. Today as I was getting ready to drive away from the house I noticed him washing his car on his lawn. It looked very shiny, so I considered yelling out “It’s looking good!” But I was afraid he would only hear “Looking Good!” and think that I was talking about him. And while maybe that is a compliment he would like to receive, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to move our relationship up to that level.

Example two: I was talking to a friend in passing a while back and he was telling me about something cool he had recently done. As the conversation was closing what I wanted to say as my parting words were “Great!” but I thought maybe I had said that too many times in the brief conversation already, so instead I said “Good for you”. But what was supposed to come out as light and breezy, instead came out sounding very sarcastic, like “Good for you, ya moron!!” So as we parted, instead of saying “See ya”, I didn’t say anything, because I was struck dumb at how I must have sounded to him.

Yes, obviously, I have some problems. Not thinking at all for one, and thinking too much for another. That, and caring too much. And working too hard. And loving too deeply. Stuff like that. Anyway this awkwardness is why I would rather send you an email than talk to you on the phone, why a little part of me can’t help but hope that I don’t run into someone I know at the grocery store, and now that I think about it, probably the reason I was never voted prom queen!!! Mystery Solved!

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7 comments

  1. Now Elesa, Social awkward or not. I think if a friend knows you well enough they can decipher what you mean. So no real harm done. I appreciate some quirky'ness in a friend.

    Also, Who hasn't had moments like this. You were right about one thing. Opening your mouth is risky business!

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  2. That's awesome. I know how you feel. The fact that you can laugh/blog about yourself is a good sign that, although socially awkward, you are well adjusted. :) What a great example you are!

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  3. By the way... Love the changes you've made to your blog with the picture and the background. I need you to show me how get a cool background.

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  4. I'm not really clever enough to post a comment on your blog, but I can try. My Richard says whether we know it or not, we Bowns always come across very smooth. Just thought you should know.

    Cool look! I wanna know how to get three columns and still have cool backgrounds.

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  5. I am social awkward too, but I don't really like running into casual acquaintances because I struggle hiding the fact that I don't care about their lives.

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  6. Ha, ha...EMBRACE IT! I saw awkward things all the time, and things always come out wrong...I'm pretty sure thats why I think I'm so funny...and why I tend to offend people without knowing it. lol Oh, and I agree with Jo!

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  7. I blame myself. I have always called you the clumsy one and only recently admitted to myself that I am just as clumsy, if not more so. Probably your feeling of awkwardness stems from that.
    I am ashamed.
    I think You are far cooler, sheeker, smoother than me. Not awkward at all.

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