Harrison Stole My Chili Sauce

April 09, 2009

At least, I think he did. Alls I know is, yesterday it was sitting there on the shelf like a good little jar of chilli sauce, and now it is gone. With its little friend. Yes, both of my jars of sauce are gone. Not to beat a dead horse, but I can't find my chilli sauce! And I don't know how to spell Chilli! Is it one L or two! Or is it spelled like the country! AAAA! Yeah, clearly the whole thing is pretty upsetting.

And of course I have to blame my two year old. I mean, yes, he is incredibly cute, but he is also a thief and a hoarder. We have lost many things to him over the years. For a while there, I'm pretty sure most of the stuff he ran off with went in the trash and are gone forever: car keys, vital government documents, stuff like that. And the remote to our DVD player. It was the tiniest, most miniature remote in the universe and Harrison adored it, so when it vanished without a trace we figured it had gone in the rubbish with everything else. Do you know how useless DVD players are without remotes? And, of course, they stopped making that DVD player approximately 3 hours after we bought it, so we couldn't get a replacement remote anywhere.

A couple of months ago I was noticing an annoying vibration from the subwoofer. (I think it is a subwoofer. I don't really know/care.) So Richard assessed the situation by picking it up and shaking it. (Pretty brilliant, right? He is an engineer, afterall.) He realized that there was something inside, so he shined a flashlight in this mystifying hole in the side,

and lo! What should be in there rattling around but the dvd remote! (And a quarter and a couple of spoons.) We fished it out with some ticky tacky and a couple of pencils. And Richard laughed for about 10 minutes.

I wasn't laughing though. Cuz in this house we obey the laws of physics, one of which - the Law of Inverse Necessity - states that the more urgently you need an item, the less likely your chances are of finding it. And so it was with us. We found that remote less than a week after we dropped its DVD player off at the thrift store. Argh!!

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  1. It's only one L.

    And make sure your jewelry is locked up! Wow!

  2. Kids are horrible, aren't they? A few years ago for the life of me I couldn't figure out why our VCR was broken until I looked inside and found two pens and a picture of Jesus jammed in there. I wondered where the stuff I kept handing Peawhistle kept disappearing to. Little pack rat.

  3. Wed blamed our youngest for all the messes, lost and misplaced things for 10 years after he grew up and left home. I mean, if you can't blame the baby, ............

  4. My two-year-old also loves the sub woofer. He also took Ian's wedding ring once and hid it BEHIND the books on our bookshelf. Who would ever think to look there? And who has time to do that much reading when they have a two-year-old? We gave up and assumed it had been thrown away. Luckily, we were too lazy to replace it and eventually the two-year-old pulled the books off the shelf and BINGO he got to be the hero. Maybe it was all an elaborate setup...

  5. Wait? children take off with items that are needed and hide them with out remembering where they left the item or caring to let people know they have ran off with said item?!? I thought only Husband did this!!

    My future doesn't look bright any more :(

  6. Oh bugar! That's all I have to say.

  7. Someday, you'll find his hiding spot. When you do, will you check it for my husband's keys and cell phone that have been missing for the past few weeks? I thought it was my 2 year old who hid them, but maybe it was yours.

  8. I am pretty sure your chili's are with the turpentine he loves at my house.