Park Rules

Dec 6, 2008

We are pleased to announce that our Guest Interpreter today will be none other than Lance, my Brother-n-Law! Take it away, Lance!

There has been some confusion regarding the use of Araha Park lately. Obviously, "Prease Concerne" is a condition that people are contracting after they enter the park. I know that this is unsettling for some people, but using the park has its consequences, people! Ok, Let's discuss each rule just to make sure that we all understand what is expected of us:
  1. Please take back your trush with you.
    Trush, of course, is a nasty form of trash-talk. It will not be tolerated in the park, so if you say something rude, just take it back and get out of the park, you big jerk.

  2. Do not bring in fragile glass ware or bottles.
    No glass in the park, also no computer programs. And babies shouldn't be in this park anyway (as discussed later in these rules) so leave the bottles home as well.

  3. Not make leonfire and not carrying dangerous in flammable substonee.
    Leon sleeps on the bench in the park. He has approval for this. Please stop burning his newspapers, especially when he is under them. Also, flammable items are fine in the park, just don't carry them in vessels made from anything that is less than stone, as most materials inferior to stone are usually flammable.

  4. Do not disturb to other visitor (Yell,Louder,noisy etc.)
    We all know that those of us using this park have a fascination with being disturbed. That's ok, but just don't let your disturbed activities get in the way of the other visitors. Especially Yell, Louder, and noisy. Those guys are nuts and should be left alone if possible.

  5. Not available Basket court,Roller lereae Skate bord after 9 PM. We ask your cooperate.
    We do not hold Basket court here. You will need to take your Basket complaints to the city. There is a coal mine that produces Roller lereae Skate after 9 PM. We have obtained permission from local cooperatives to mine here.

  6. Keep your pets in cluin,and the expeled limg to homr in lebidual in a bag.
    Ok, this rule is rather complicated, but here is the basic idea: Pets aren't as stupid as we think, so keep them clued in to the fact that if they don't keep their libidos in check and they start getting frisky with our guard dog, homr, they might have their resulting expelled limbs returned to them in a bag. I know that this isn't very pleasant, but it's life, folks.

  7. Do not riding around the motor cycle in the park.
    If there is a motorcycle in the park, don't ride around it. You could get hurt.

  8. Do not swing golf club and train,also flying radio contral plan.
    This rule might seem outlandish, but you know that some jerk actually did this to make us include a rule against it. It is this: Do not attempt to swing a golf club and a train at the same time in the park. Also, please refrain from running air force simulations in the park involving radio communication protocols invented during the Iran-contra affair. This makes us nervous.

  9. It's proharcted open eny drum shop in the park. with out parmation of authority.
    Listen, marching bands, bring your tubas and bagpipes and xylophones, but leave the drums home. The place for teaching, playing, selling, or repairing drums is not here. Unless the authorities become totally parmated (which they won't), they aren't going to change their minds. Come on people, proharcted is proharcted!! No exceptions.

Ok, finally: this park was built, and is intended, for us to find refuge and relaxation away from young babies and old people. You must restrain your actions to only those of a rough nature. Only Rough people can really survive here, especially with the Prease Condition affecting everyone.


P.s. This image came from Check it out, it is awesome!