When Harrison was 6 months old I left my husband alone with him and went to Girls Camp. For one night. It is nice, every once in a while, to get away. Girls Camp, however, should not be called a "Vacation" under any circumstances. Putting up my own tent, sleeping on the ground, having makeup put on me by a 12 year old, and mediating an argument between two hormonal girls sounds more like an episode of Survivor than a vacation.
But as a mom, it is the only one I've had. Sure, we've taken a few family vacations, but as what's-her-name from Modern Family said, "I'm a mom travelling with her kids. It's not a vacation, it's a business trip." So now I've got 2 boys, the oldest of whom is almost 5 and I just wanted a tiny little break, ok? And that is why my friends and I left our families for a night and went out and tore up the town.
I always love to read the posts people write about trips they've taken to exciting places like New York City, and Branson, Missouri (no, I'm lying. I really don't) and so I am going to tell you all about my weekend in Fabulous St. George, UT! Yes, you read that right! Woohoo!
First stop, once we gathered everyone together and arrived at our destination, was lunch. Any vacation that doesn't revolve around food is a pretty lame vacation in my book. So we hit the nearest Taco Time and OWNED that menu and then the "waitress" splashed hot sauce all over me and then gave me FREE Cinnamon Crustos out of guilt and shame. SCORE!!
And then I ate 3 churros and a few cherry empanadas for good measure. I had to pay for those though. I wish more people spilled things on me.
Exhausted after our social lunch, we headed to our hotel. Motel. Which had some really outstanding decor. Cowboy boots stuffed unceremoniously with fake flowers, horseshoes hung in completely unexpected places, blood red walls in the bedroom and then this, just in case it all got to be too much:
But we wouldn't need that rope! We have so much fun when we get together, having zit popping contests and taking pictures of our feet.
Wow, feet are weird looking, right?
After a wild night of cards and sour gummy bears, I pulled out my camera for a photo shoot. They were not impressed.
I begged and pleaded and bribed and just finally convinced everyone to sit down and smile when the Hotel Tipped Over!!!
And we high-tailed it out of there, and hid out in the parking lot. Things were just starting to return to normal, the hotel was righting itself, and we thought the coast was clear, so we decided to sneak back in for our sour gummy bears,
When out of the corner of my eye I saw it. I started screaming, "Lookout! Lookout! She's coming back!! Run! Run! Run!" and snapped this picture before diving into the nearest sewer grate.
So, yep. Just about the perfect vacation. I mean, how can you top Mothra? We decided to end things on a high note, so we headed home after that, very rejuvenated and refreshed. A Brush With Death and losing the rest of your sour candies can do that to a person. A few hours drive home to snooze and gab with the gals and then the vacation was over.
And, you know, even though I came home to two sick little boys, and a mountain of barfed on clothings, towels and blankets, I was still SO HAPPY to be there. Cuz I really missed them. And maybe taking care of a house full of pukers is exactly where I belong.