Can someone please explain to me how it is possible, that inside this package,


(which is so cute I actually have to wear shades and sunblock to protect myself from its red-hot rays of adorableness)  lies the ability to scream at a pitch just below that of a dog whistle, at a decible comparable to a sonic boom?

How can he both make me swell with his sweetness and make me want to hurl myself from the top of the tallest tower in town, all at the same time?