We are taking a marriage class. Together, obviously. It would be a little pointless if we were both taking different classes. And we are getting all kinds of good info to strengthen our relationship. And I was feeling kinda stingy keeping it all to myself. So hold on to your hornets, cuz I am about to lay some knowledge on you!
1. Talk about your past together.
Each of you share your own memories of how you met, your first date, your first kiss, your engagement, stuff like that. Only share happy memories. Do not harp on and on, for instance, about that one time that that hot guy hit on you, and your husband was like "STAY AWAY FROM MY WOMAN" and the hot guy kicked your husband in the knee and stole your purse and ran away shouting "Take that, tough guy!"
2. Share your feelings.
Open up to each other. (Warning: This one should be executed very carefully, or you might not get the results you are looking for. On Friday we had a very good evening of sharing our feelings, and I guess now Richard feels that we have a very "honest" relationship because he won't shut up. Apparently now that he feels comfortable opening up to me, he thinks he can say ANYTHING to me and he spent last evening shouting "I want a Divorce!" every time I disagreed with him.)
3. Move your computers into the same room.
Now, instead of retiring to our own computers in two different rooms of the house at the end of the day, we are right next to each. So as he sits and plays his Star Wars computer game, and I write, I can hear him when he curses at the computer. To be right here when he yells "You Idiot! Why don't you just pick up the light saber when I tell you to!!!" is really special. I am sure this has made us closer.
4. Don't hit each other.
Once you stop beating each other you will be amazed at how your relationship changes. The no hitting rule has to be absolute to be effective. You should not hit each other with ANY body parts, either yours or theirs, or with pillows, eating utensils, basketballs, hockey sticks or other sports paraphernalia, books, bow staffs, rubber bands or food. I know it will be a challenge, but stick with it, and your sacrifice will pay off.
5. Learn to say no.
And by this I don't mean that you should learn to actually say "No" to your spouse from time to time. Don't be ridiculous. Everyone tells their spouse no. This is the 21st century after all. I mean learn HOW to say no. If, when you need to refuse your sweetie something, you always respond by screaming "NOOOOOOOO!" and stomping your feet, it could be a problem. You might also be stomping on some feelings. Just something to keep in mind.
We have only had two classes so far. So I made some of them up. You probably can't tell which ones though, can you? And number 4, that was Richard's. He has good ideas. He really wanted me to include something about costumes, but I said no.