Things I probably shouldn't admit about myself.

  • I have a paperdoll collection. I've had it since I was in Elementary School, but I still think it is pretty cool.
  • The other day while everyone was napping, I played The Farming Game by myself. (And I won! Wee Hee!)
  • One of our Family Rules is "No Natural Man at the Dinner Table". This means no burping, farting, or uncontrolled displays of emotion. This is actually our only stated house rule. It was very necessary to make.
  • Even though I cook dinner almost every evening, I am still absurdly pleased with myself every time I do it.
  • I talk to myself. Or at least, I talk out loud sometimes when no one else is around. But technically I am not talking to ME. I am usually having practice conversations. I imagine scenarios, and play out the conversations in my head, and then I say the words out loud. For instance, I imagine myself running into an old friend, Flicka. She says 'Hi, how are you?' so I say (out loud) "I'm fine. You look great! How is the clone business treating you?" blah blah blah, you get the idea. I'm not the only one who does this, right? Maybe this is what everyone who is talking to themselves is doing?
I'm sure there are more things I could add to this list. But, of course, the things that I REALLY shouldn't admit about myself I am not going to admit, because I am smart enough to know that that would be really dumb.

Poll #5

Would You Rather...

Fight Mike Tyson? 2 votes
Talk like Mike Tyson? 2 votes

From this poll we can surmise that the world is generally evenly divided when it comes to this question. Half of all readers would prefer to fight Mike Tyson. The other half would rather talk like him. Obviously there are benefits to both. Well, not in the conventional definition of benefits. But if you have to choose....
Perhaps for those who fear pain, talking like Mike Tyson seems like the better alternative. I, for one, would prefer to have to fight him once, get the stuffing beat out of me (and just maybe manage to give him a well deserved punch in the nose), and have it be done with, than have to talk like him forever and ever. But to each his own.

At this point I was going to include a short video clip of Mike Tyson saying something very Mike Tysony, but I couldn't find anything that wasn't vulgar, rude or filled with swear words.

Age 30: When the Body Begins to Break Down

I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me, and wasn't having much luck, but today it finally hit me. I'm old. I know what you are thinking. You young'uns are thinking "Yep, you sure are old!", and you old folks are thinking "You are in the prime of your life!" I used to think the latter as well, being old like I am, and I convinced myself that life was just beginning and my youth and vitality were only just reaching their apex. But then I started to fall apart.

I turned 30 on April 1st. It was a fine day filled with magical wonderment. On the 2nd, my foot started to hurt. I exercised anyway, and later Richard took me out to dinner and by the end of the night I was visibly limping. I was convinced however, that it was just a pulled muscle and a good night's rest was all I needed. Apparently I was right, at least as far as my foot was concerned. But I had obviously used some LONG neglected elbow muscles in my work out and on the morning of the 3rd I could barely move. Imagine, if you will, trying to get dressed without the use of your arms. Not to mention holding my baby, or feeding myself. Gadzooks!

Eventually I recovered, (and my elbows are stronger than ever!) but then my wrist started hurting. After a few days of that the mystery pain went away, but then my foot started to hurt again. Not like before, but more like I broke my toe. Except if I broke my toe, I should think that I would remember it. I ignored that, because I had no idea what it was, and then a few nights ago, as I ran home from a friend's house - who only lives a block away mind you - not only was the foot still painful, but the corresponding leg as well. With each step I had to say "Owe". (That helps you know. I don't know what good it does, but I'm sure that it was necessary.)

I was starting to think maybe I did break my toe. Maybe I kicked Richard really hard in my sleep? But what on earth did I do to my leg? Maybe I tore a rotator cuff? (I don't even know what that is, but it sounds real.) (Have you noticed how much I like parentheses?) And then, to top it all off, this morning I woke up with a sore knee (other leg) so that I was limping again. This is starting to get a little ridiculous. It certainly sounds ridiculous, but I'm not making it up. My body is falling apart, one little bit at a time.

Maybe 30 really is the top of the hill? Someone told me it was, but I said
"No it's not! 50 is the top of the hill if there even is a hill, which I doubt, now get that lizard out of my face!" but maybe they were right. I had thought maybe the hill analogy was about wisdom. The closer you get to the top, the wiser you get, because you are able to see more clearly, and see further, and thus understand more. When you get to the top you have all of your past experiences to draw on, and you can also see the rest of your life stretching out in front of you. But as you travel faster and faster down the far side of the hill, your vision wanes, you can't see as well or as far and you can't remember things, and eventually you don't know anything anymore. You are just old (ONLY JOKING).

But I've had to revise that analogy. It has nothing to do with wisdom. It is about your physical health. All the way up the hill your body is working and working and working to function properly and efficiently and it keeps at it until you get to the top. Then your body says "Whew! I'm beat! I gotta take a load off!" and it sits down for a nap. Course by that time you've already started stumbling down the other side of the hill, trying in confusion to figure out what the heck is going on and why everything is moving so fast, and body parts are failing left and right, till you end up in a big heap at the bottom, wondering what just happened and where on earth your life and energy went.
That is what the story of Jack and Jill is really all about.

"I Know Him So Well"

A couple of weeks ago we went to an Elder's Quorum activity. These don't happen very often so we didn't really know what to expect. There weren't all that many couples there, and while we were loitering around the snack table someone asked us if we would participate in the "Newlywed Game" they had set up. He said the question was rhetorical, which I assume meant we really didn't have a choice, so I said "Absolutely we will".
Richard and I and 4 other couples filed up onto the stage, and as I checked out our competition, I was feeling pretty confident. Then they asked the husbands to leave the room, asked the wives a number of questions about our spouses which we wrote down on some torn up pieces of paper, and then brought the husbands back in. Time to show our stuff.
The first question was "What is your husband's least favorite food?" One man said "Steak" and his wife replied "You are an idiot!" Another guy said "Casseroles". His wife had guessed "Fatty Foods" which was deemed too vague. Richard answered "Tomatoes", and I smugly showed my card that clearly read "TOMATOES", and I couldn't help but think to myself "We are going to win the crap out of this competition!!!"
It was the only question we got right all night.

So, yeah, we lost miserably. The winners got a bucket of popcorn and a gift certificate to Block Buster. Some members of the audience said that as the losers, maybe we should have won the prize so that we would be forced to spend more time together. Naturally, losing this way sparked some discussions about how we would answer these questions in the future, so, here is what Richard and I learned about each other that night and the nights that followed

  • Richard's least favorite subject in school (BYU) was Music Appreciation. I enjoy the irony of that.
  • I really don't have a favorite movie (How could I pick just one?)
  • If Richard had to choose between John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, he would pick Clint (I knew that, but he thought I would think the answer was John.)
  • My pet peeve is people talking on the phone while driving. (This doesn't stop ME from doing it of course.)
  • In a choice between Ford, Chevy, and Dodge, Richard would pick Dodge (His actual choice is Bentley, but that wasn't one of the options).
  • If I won a million dollars, the very first thing I would buy is clothes. I said something noble like paying off debt and giving lots of it away. But let's be honest. I'm going to need some new clothes to wear before I can start my philanthropy. (I almost just wrote philandering. But that is NOT what I meant. Though,come to think of it, I would need some new clothes for that too, but that is a whole different kettle of fish.)

The other thing we learned is that questions like these are kind of dumb. You can know someone really well and have no idea how they would answer these questions. Be that as it may, I would like to do a Mother/Daughter activity where they have to answer questions about each other, so I am looking for good questions that really test to see how well you know someone. Any suggestions?