Ok, I've got one for you. This is important, so I want you to really think about it, spend a quiet hour and consult your soul. When they make the movie of your life, who will play the main characters? MyHeritage.com says that I look 72% like Judy Garland. I think it's the hair. And, naturally, casting will be based solely on looks. What do I care how well they can act in my fake movie?

Unfortunately, at this time Judy Garland is completely unavailable, so we are happy to announce that Tina Fey has agreed to play me. Yea! (The bad news is, it has been decided that my story isn't really interesting enough to make into a movie. The story line has been altered a bit so now its about a writer for a live comedy sketch show.)


Richard, obviously, will be played by Jim Gaffigan in Pale Force. I don't even need to post a picture of Richard, because he looks just like that. We're still deciding if we can find a role for Pale Force Conan.



After much debate on the subject, it has been decided that Harrison will be played by himself. He is just so cute. This is a picture of him breaking into a public building through the heat ducts.
I'm a nerd. And not the useful kind, who can fix your computer, solve crimes using advanced math, or prove String Theory (though I am working on it). No, I am the really sad and useless kind, who just thinks the other nerds are cool. I like Weird Al, and role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons and Kingdom of Loathing. I like to hear people makes jokes that include the phrase "All Your Base Are Belong to Us". I have a shirt that says "You Are Dumb" in Ascii Binary, and I always enjoy references to Star Trek and Star wars. Hmm.... when I started this post my point was to say that I am a nerd, not that I am a nerd and a great big dork. Wait, why did I want to point out that I am a nerd in the first place? Oh Man!

Elbow Tag was always my favorite.

Tagging, for those who don't know, is the practice of posting small assignments on your blog and then passing those assignments on to others. It's similar to, but should not be confused with, the game of tag popular on elementary school playgrounds. In my day this mostly consisted of someone running up behind you and punching you in the shoulder while yelling "TAG! YOU'RE IT! HA HA HA!" The response to this was usually "But I'm not even playing!!".

Anne Tagged me. The assignment is to name 6 interesting facts about myself. There really are more than 6 interesting things about me. So don't go thinking that this list is all inclusive or anything.

1) When I clean out my right ear with a cotton swab, it makes me cough.

2) When I'm nervous I cough. Yep, two things on my list about coughing. This one time, I got up to sing with the choir, and I started coughing, and kept on coughing and coughing until the song was over. Another time, at school, this guy I liked came and sat next to me. He was so cute and he was being so nice that I started coughing like crazy and had to run out of the room.

3) I have a small midget staying with me indefinitely. He doesn't speak English, so I can't be sure, but I believe he has come to study the washing machine. It seems as though our laundry technology is years ahead of his.

4) I LOVE Mystery Science Theater 3000. Oh... wait... It doesn't really count as an interesting fact about me if everyone else in the world feels the same way, does it?

5) I can only count to five.

Now, Marion, Mahubble, Arlene and Lance should all do it. If you don't, you have to freeze until someone touches you on the shoulder.
I have the nicest neighbors: a little old man and his wife. They are very sweet. Whenever he drives past our house he honks his horn to say hello. Yes, he waves and honks and every time it scares the pants off me (which is, of course, both inappropriate and embarrassing as I'm standing outside holding my groceries). He always honks; it never fails. Even if I see him coming and am already waving my arm off, he still honks and it still scares me. I try not to let it scare me, but he's got a loud Tooter on that old boat-of-a-car, and knowing the the honk is coming just makes it worse. I hear his car approaching. I turn and see it looming at the end of the block. And then I wait and wait as he drives ever so slowly down the road. I'm waving in slow motion, steeling myself against what I know is imminent. I hold my breath......and the HONK comes and my limbs each twitch about in some sort of startled spasm, and I know he has bested me again.

mp3-o-rama

Anne, thanks for this idea. Fun! I put my mp3 player on shuffle, and here are the first 10 songs that came up:

"Weird Divide" - The Shins. Not my favorite song from the album. But I sure like The Shins!
"Green Apples" - Chantal Kreviazuk
"Blue Eyes" - Cary Brothers (Garden State Soundtrack)
"It's Good to be in Love" - Frou Frou
"All of the Words" - Kutlass
"Such Great Heights" - Iron and Wine (Garden State Soundtrack)
"Oremi" - Angelique Kidjo. From my Lilith Fair album. This song does nothing for me anymore, but I've never deleted it, so I guess I get what I deserve.
"Under Pressure" - Queen and David Bowie. More of a Queen fan than a David Bowie fan, but whatever.
"My Brilliant Feat" - Colin Hay. My new favorite. The lead singer of Men at Work working all alone.
"Chaux Pastry Heart" - Corrine Bailey Rae

Good Stuff!
Now, my mp3 player is only a gig. And I don't think it's even full because I like to leave room to put a book on there if I feel like it. There are probably only a few hundred songs on it, so no real surprises, but fun nonetheless! Thanks Anne! And thanks Pandora!

TV vision

What does it say about me that most of my favorite shows were canceled before they made it through the first season? I'm not sure, but it can't be good....
But seriously! Firefly really was the greatest television program the world has ever known. I know how that sounds. But I never, ever exaggerate. I LOVED Lost when it first started, (and I was terrified that they might cancel it), but that has fizzled just a little. Maybe the thing is that the shows get canceled before I have a chance to lose interest; and their absence has made my heart grow fonder than it might have otherwise. Who knows. Anyway, here is the list. Of course, McGyver and Quantum Leap should be on here, but I wasn't sure how far back in time to go. I always used to watch Saved by the Bell, too, but that doesn't mean it's making the list....

The Office
Firefly
Alias (seasons 1 & 2)
Andy Barker, P.I.
Threshold


Other great shows that got canceled too soon:

Jake 2.0
John Doe (made it to the end of season one, leaving off at the cliff hanger. Mean!)
Drive (I just want Nathan Fillion back!)
Dark Angel

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What has the world come to when babies are inundated with Junk Mail? I spend all my energies keeping him away from junk: Feeding him healthy food instead of junk food, keeping him out of the garbage cans; but all my efforts are thwarted by that devious mail man, who always slips the mail in to the slot while I'm not looking...
Speaking of mail men, I am convinced that Identity Theft is a fictional thing invented by the Post Master General (What else does he have to do? He just sits up in his tower playing Risk and commanding his Post Master Army.) to convince us all that we need locking mailboxes. So now, instead of driving to each house one at a time, he just stops at one community mail box for the whole block. And it's well enough for me - the community mail box is just across the street - but what about the poor lady who has to drive her car all the way around the corner just to get her mail? What is the world coming to?

REMOVED

Mark your calendars! Sometime in the near or distant future we will all be playing the revolutionary new game "Space Crud"! Check it out!
www.SpaceCrud.com
"After the rain, when the monkeys begin emerging from their treetop hideouts, and jungle-side apartments, when the birdies begin once again to sing from their nesties, no longer afraid of being washed away in the torrential downfall of water, when the Sneegle-footed Gloober worm makes his first majestic (if somewhat slimey) wriggles, then and only then can we begin our exciting study into the world of vine swinging.
Vine Swinging: hereafter known as VS, is a largely unexplored alternative traveling method, ripe with potential only dreamed of by the previous arboreal population at large. "Aaaaaa", you say, and well you might, for the possibilities of VS have been considered primarily fictional - made popular by jungle dwelling Homo sapiens such as Tarzan, George of the Jungle, and of course, Leonard the Leotard, each with varying degrees of success."

The above paragraph is an excerpt from the VS Special that aired on Green TV during their Monkey Week. What I saw excited and inspired me and I couldn't wait to share it! For more information, see www.MonkiesInTheSkyKeepOnTurning/BackToTheTrees.com.
Chicken-Monkey bubblewrap, potato chip, umbrella.